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Introducing The “Nouveau Bro” by Matt Stopera

By Matt Stopera

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There’s a new type of bro and no, he doesn’t wear those Adidas flip-flops.

Nouveau Bro:

A new breed of bro, usually found in urban areas, who are more sophisticated than bros of the past. They don’t wear shorts in the wintertime, they’re not embarrassed to order a diet soda, and they don’t draw penises everywhere.

Nouveau Bros have become some of the most desirable men in popular culture. Among them are Calvin Harris, Ryan Gosling, and Michael B. Jordan.

 You are probably friends with many of them because they’re generally not horrible people.

You are probably friends with many of them because they're generally not horrible people.

Michaeljung / Getty Images

And in case you’re wondering more about them, here’s a list of things that Nouveau Bros love:

1. Man buns
2. Talking about man buns
3. Thinking man buns are cool
4. Trying to grow a man bun
5. Complimenting their friends with man buns
6. This haircut:

7. Snapchat
8. Making Snapchat stories
9. Being cool with gay people
10. Having a gay friend

Ridofranz / Getty Images

11. Acknowledging how handsome another guy is
12. Singing the song “Wrecking Ball”
13. Saying “brah” ironically

14. Minimalistic tattoos
15. Shopping at Uniqlo

17. Chris Pratt
18. Drake
19. Memes
20. Asking you if you watch Game of Thrones
21. Being surprised that you don’t watch Game of Thrones
22. Sometimes getting a burrito bowl at Chipotle
23. These Adidas sweatpants:

O. Duran / O. Duran/Premiere/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

24. Getting into wine
25. The World Cup
26. Soccer, in general
27. Basketball jerseys
28. Tinder
29. The prayer hands emoji
30. Calling everything a “dive bar”

Jupiterimages / Getty Images

31. Identifying as a “Crossfitter”
32. Trying P90X
33. Saying “I can’t drink tonight”
34. Cutting their nails
35. Vaping
36. Plaid everything
37. Jeans that fit
38. Getting things framed

Design Pics / Getty Images

39. Learning how to make cocktails
40. Old Fashioneds
41. Warby Parker
42. The Pacific Northwest
43. Ordering whiskey gingers

Jon Feingersh / Getty Images

44. J. Crew
45. Calling Taylor Swift “T. Swift”
46. Warming up to pop music
47. Colorful socks
48. Discussing grilling
49. Owning one candle
50. Dressing up in costumes

51. Boat shoes
52. Wiffle ball
53. Calling Instagram “Insta”
54. Being proud of being able to tie a tie
55. Being proud of being into rosé

George Doyle & Ciaran Griffin / Getty Images

56. Owning a pair of shorts that go above the knee
57. Feeling cool for owning a pair of shorts that go above the knee
58. Cuffed jeans
59. Snapback hats
60. V-necks
61. Watching Bravo with their girlfriend

Curaphotography / Getty Images

62. Buying old video game consoles on eBay
63. Ordering a Diet Coke and not being embarrassed about it
64. And lastly but most importantly: gingham print

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